The Massive's Massive Kitchen
by AceTiff12
Summary: Feeding the Armada is a lot harder and more dangerous than it sounds. Aboard the Massive is a group of chefs who must constantly cook food, snacks, and meals. Not to mention serve the Tallest... This is my character Zemori's story.
1. A New Job

A/N: If you'd like to see a picture of Zemori, visit my home page, which leads to my devART profile.

Disclaimer: Invader Zim (c) Viacom and of course, its creator, Jhonen Vasquez. However, characters like Zemori are mine because I made them up.

Warning: There are a few instances containing minor language throughout the story, but not so much.

* * *

My name is Zemori. When Operation Impending Doom II was confirmed to start in two weeks, I really wasn't all that worried. Just another war- another attempt at galactic conquest. I had no reason to worry; Irk was the safest planet in the universe. Many of my fellow Irkens were excited about the whole ordeal. I, however, didn't care one way or the other in the least. I was happy working at Reezle's, Irk's smallest yet fanciest café. I was content with where I was. It was where I belonged.

My carefree views on Impending Doom II drastically changed when Mr. Reezle summoned me.

"Here's your refill, ma'am."

"Zemori."

"Yessir?"

"My office. Now."

Some of my coworkers stared wide-eyed at me and then at Mr. Reezle as he motioned for me to follow him. I tried as hard as I could not to look shocked. Everyone who worked here knew that when Mr. Reezle called for you- specifically, by name- it meant one of two things: something extremely good was about to happen for you, or something extremely terrible would.

"Have a seat."

I sat at the only chair in front of his desk. Mr. Reezle closed the door as I tried to keep my hands from shaking. Should I be shivering with excitement or fear? I couldn't think of any reason that I should be rewarded or punished.

Mr. Reezle settled himself in his large comfortable chair and studied me briefly.

I sat up straight, eyes determined. Good or bad, I was going to accept my fate.

"How long have you worked for me, Zemori?"

"A long time, sir."

"A long time. Of course." He smiled, and his tone got more casual. "Did I ever tell you I was in Operation Impending Doom One?"

"E-Excuse me, sir?" I asked incredulously.

"Oh, not as an Invader, if that's what you're thinking. I was appointed as Head Chef for a while… Until the operation was cut short by What's-His-Face…"

"That's… I… But…"

"You're wondering why I'm telling you this, right? What does this have to do with you? Well, I was called on to provide my services once again for Impending Doom II. But business is picking up around here. I need to be here to run things. So instead, they've allowed me to send in a replacement."

"And… I'm the one you chose?"

"Exactly."

"But- and I mean no disrespect, sir- why did you pick me?"

Mr. Reezle chuckled, but I didn't see what was so funny.

"Zemori, out of all the workers here, don't you know who works the most diligently? Can you really not see your own potential?"

I never really looked at myself that way before. Day after day I just did what I was supposed to. Didn't everyone?

"You seem unsure. Don't worry; you won't be acting as Head Chef. Someone else was already picked for that position, and they will be your boss."

"I understand, sir. I would be honored to accept this responsibility."

"Then it's official!" he declared. He stood up and leaned across his desk to give my hand a strong shake with both of his own.

When I left the office, several coworkers immediately started questioning me. I informed them that I would be serving as a cook on the Massive during the invasion.

"You're going to be in Impending Doom II?"

"You're so lucky! Congratulations!"

"Maybe you'll get to see _the Tallest! In person!"_

They were so excited for me. Happy for me. Jealous of me.

To be honest, I was doubtful. What if my new boss was mean? What if I didn't get along with my new colleagues? What if I made a huge mistake and ruined the food? I knew that the Massive was a powerful spaceship, but what if something went wrong and we were attacked?

But I had no choice. When your boss makes you an offer, you take it.

-xoxo-

Over the next few days, Mr. Reezle and I made preparations for my reassignment. It bothered me not knowing how long I'd be away. It could last years or even decades.

During closing time on possibly my last day at the café, I was hanging up my apron when three Irkens approached me. They were my closest associates, and to my surprise, they'd gotten me a going-away present.

"You didn't have to…"

"But we insist. Take it."

No sooner had I pocketed the perfume bottle than all three of them hugged me. Never in my life had I been hugged before.

It was… a nice experience.


	2. Nachos

Before I knew it, I was meeting face-to-face with my new boss. I don't know why, but I expected him to be taller than the rest of his cooking crew, like Mr. Reezle.

What he lacked in height, however, he made up with his loud voice.

My nineteen new colleagues and I didn't meet our superior on the Massive. Our first duties were to be carried out on Conventia, the convention hall planet.

Idle chitchat filled the small auditorium we were sent to. My eyes stared ahead at the empty stage, waiting. I kept my hands folded in my lap and my back straight against the chair.

"_Keep still. Keep quiet. Stay attentive. First impressions are always important."_

"Hi."

"_Shit."_

It'd be rude to ignore her, so I turned my head at the female sitting to my right.

"You smell nice," she said.

I smiled, fond memories of yesterday flooding my mind.

"My name's Ki."

Realizing I hadn't spoken yet, I quickly replied, "Zemori."

Both our antennae perked up at the sound of footsteps coming from the stage. We sat up straight and watched as the Irken stopped at the podium and looked over the small audience.

The conversations didn't die down.

I felt a split-second urge to kill erupt deep within me.

The Irken behind the podium narrowed his red eyes and yelled, "Alright, you drooling smeets! Shut up and pay attention before I have you tied up and thrown in a tub of sizzling grease!"

The silence that followed made me think that everyone forgot how to breathe.

"That's more like it! Now! Down to business! We all know why we're here. But let me warn you right now- feeding the entire Armada will require backbreaking labor round the clock every day for the duration of the operation. They can and will punish you depending on how badly- and how often- you screw up. Anyone who doesn't think they can handle it should leave right now."

I think everyone forgot how to move, too.

"Now then! My name is Nork, but you will all address me as 'Head Chef,' 'Head Chef Nork,' 'Boss,' 'Mr. Nork,' 'My Master,' 'Sir,' or 'Norky.' But that last one's only for the people I reeeeally like.

"In just a few hours, the Great Assigning will begin. We're going to start off simple and serve the attendees nachos. We'll later be preparing snacks a lot more than actual meals aboard the Massive, but that doesn't mean you can slack off!

"Now… Let's get out there and MAKE THE BEST DAMN NACHOS THEY'VE EVER TASTED!"

With that, he led us out of the auditorium and toward the Main Convention Hall. I noticed that we hardly made any noise while following him.

Once we entered, Mr. Nork made a sharp right turn and took us to a side door. Inside was the kitchen, fully stocked.

"Let's get to it, people! The early birds will arrive soon."

All of us participated in making nachos on our own and filling the awaiting six large bowls with them. The bowls were on pushcarts because once full, they'd be too heavy and hot to carry by hand.

When people started coming, Mr. Nork separated us into groups. One would focus on preparing the nachos nonstop, one would take charge of keeping the kitchen clean, another would begin pouring ice-cold drinks, and the other would handle the pushcarts whenever the bowls needed a refill.

I was positioned in that last group. Three of the bowls were stationed at the back of the Main Convention Hall- two in the corners and one in the middle. Whenever one got close to being empty, a cook would bring it to the kitchen and another cook would roll out a fresh replacement.

Soon the place was packed, and my team did its best to be busy and careful at the same time. My job moving the nachos and drinks to and from the middle spot was a little scary. There were so many people, all crunching and bustling and talking. Compared to Reezle's, it was like a madhouse!

An announcement caused the crowd to quiet down, but I was too focused on pushing a newly-filled bowl of nachos to hear what it said. I roughly bumped into another cook (who was also pushing a new cart to his corner) because he had stopped suddenly.

"What's the _matter_ with you!" I demanded.

"It-It's… them!" he exclaimed, pointing.

That's when I noticed that the lights had dimmed and the crowd was cheering. I looked and saw bright lasers illuminating the front of the hall.

Descending from the ceiling was a platform with two figures on it, both waving.

"Is that-?"

"Uh-huh! The Tallest!"

At first my body tingled, but disappointment swept through me when I saw that I couldn't get a clear view. They were just too far away, and some stray balloons blocked them from my sight.

"It's too hard to see," I sighed. "Let's move this food before Mr. Nork notices."

"Are you kidding? Everyone's looking up front. I don't think anyone wants nachos right now. Maybe Head Chef Nork won't mind."

I hoped he wouldn't, or we'd both be in trouble. On our first task, too! And before the invasion even started! What would Mr. Reezle think?

At that moment, the entire hall grew silent. The Tallest began welcoming the soldiers and assigning the Invaders their planet. Everyone could hear them loud and clear.

The two of us watched the Great Assigning until only one Invader was left.

"The assigning's almost done! Let's hurry and get back to work before-"

"Alright, alright. Yeesh."

At last, my path was cleared. I touched the lower half of the bowl to check if it had gotten cold. Luckily, a comforting warmth greeted my hand.

I pushed the cart to the middle and took a final glance toward the Tallest and over the enormous crowd.

"Watch it! Coming through! Move it! Move it! Get outta the way!"

Someone- obviously in a desperate hurry- rushed by me, knocking into my back so hard that I felt the cart's handle leave my grip. It started to roll away, but it didn't get far thanks to the heavy weight it held.

Frowning, I pulled the cart back to where it was supposed to be. Good, nothing had fallen.

Upon my return to the kitchen, I found that the door was blocked by my fellow cooks. They were all peeking out to investigate the commotion that just leaked out at the front of the room. Mr. Nork stood a ways in front of them, watching whatever was going on with great interest.

"Sir," I asked him, "permission to have one of the drinks?"

"Huh?" he responded distractedly. "Uh, yeah, sure."

As I squeezed my way through, I heard some of my coworkers whispering about someone named Zim. His name sounded familiar. Was he the one who ran past me?

It was harder to hear the Tallest from the kitchen, but I didn't go back out. It was nice to be in a less noisy and crowded place with an ice-cold drink and a chance to sit down.

Surely with time and practice, this job wouldn't be so bad.


	3. Picky

A/N: Apparently there used to be lots of websites with detailed information about the Invader Zim universe. I've never been to one, so I apologize if my ignorance of Irken culture bothers anyone.

Also, I raised the rating from K+ to T, just to be safe.

* * *

"Behold, smeets!" Mr. Nork proudly announced. "Your new home!"

The twenty of us stood in awe at our surroundings. We were impressed at how the Massive looked from the outside, but the inside was twice as impressive. We were given a general tour of the ship's layout, and then taken to our workspace, the kitchen.

Mr. Nork continued, "State-of-the-art technology, room enough for all of you to work without colliding into each other, and a floor you can lick off of!"

"Don't you mean 'eat off of,' Boss?"

"Yeah, that too!"

The feature that caught my attention the most glimmered naturally instead of artificially. It was the single long window that showed the stars and the endless blackness of space. The uneasy feeling of being away from Irk for the first time disappeared as the eager feeling of experiencing new things settled in.

Our boss explained how to use the more advanced equipment before guiding us to the Snack Storage Room. We spent the rest of the day organizing it.

Before dismissing us, he said in his loud voice, "Rest up, everybody! We meet in the kitchen bright and early tomorrow. It'll be your first day in Hell… But don't be intimidated. Hell's kinda fun once you get used to it."

-xoxo-

"C'mon, Zemori, wake up," I muttered to myself. I shook my head furiously to rid myself of any remaining sleepiness. The doors to the kitchen loomed just ahead of me. Good thing the cafeteria had automatic lighting.

I hadn't encountered a soul during my "morning" journey. It seemed like I'd be the first one to arrive. Being early on the first official day of work is always a guaranteed way to gain approval from the employer. The first thing I'd do was rinse my face in the sink to ensure full alertness throughout the day. But just a little, because I didn't want it to burn too much.

My gloved hands pushed the double doors open quietly. I took one step inside and stared.

One, two… eleven, twelve… nineteen. Plus Mr. Nork, who was examining a small floating screen pad until he saw me come in.

"Ah, Miss…" He touched the pad and scrolled down a list of names thoughtfully. "…Zemori. Glad to see you've decided to join us." He grinned widely.

The others had briefly turned their heads in my direction before snapping back to their duties.

No. No! How could this be? How long have they been here? Was I late or just the last one to show up?

I glared down at the cold, clean floor, disgusted with myself. At least I didn't need to use the sink anymore.

My boss handed me a simple red apron with the Irken insignia on front.

"Here's your uniform. Since you're the latest on the first day, you get to man the mop. No cooking for you until you clean up after all your work-siblings." He turned his attention to everyone else. "Let's pick it up now! Breakfast is a very important meal, y'know!"

Good, I deserved to be punished.

-xoxo-

The smell of eggs, bacon, and other delicious morsels filled the kitchen in no time. Mr. Nork warned us– in a voice dripping with vehemence– not to sneak a single bite or sip.

Someone stupid asked what would happen if we did.

"If you wanna know," he threatened, "try it and see what happens."

Later, he had us start taking the food out to the cafeteria's long serving counter. The people who had to get up early would come for their breakfast soon. There were also many who preferred having food delivered to them. As time went on, it seemed like the whole Armada was awake and starving. Things became hectic so fast that Mr. Nork took me off cleaning duty before lunchtime.

"Faster, faster! Get those breakfast foods back in here and start serving the lunches! Trab, you've been looking at that map for over ten seconds now! Memorize it and deliver the meal to that location _now!_ WHAT THE HELL IS THAT TALL GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE STILL DOING HERE? THE TALLEST REQUESTED IT TEN MINUTES AGO!" Before anyone could say or do anything, Mr. Nork grabbed it himself and left the kitchen.

"Shouldn't Mr. Nork have made another glass?" Ki asked. "I don't think the Tallest would like it if it was delivered all warm and gross."

"It still had ice in it," I told her. "It should be fine." But it irked me to think that someone could make some juice and then forget to deliver it, especially to the Tallest. No matter how much chaos there is, no one should get distracted on the job.

How we all managed to survive without our boss was beyond me. But we seemed to be doing well. No one came barging in with complaints, no major spills occurred in the kitchen nor the cafeteria, and no orders were mixed up.

Soon the double doors burst open, and our short commander frantically looked around the room. "Oh, good, nothing's on fire," he commented. Then his face turned serious. "Which one of you made that orange juice? The Tallest wants to see that person right away. And he didn't look too happy, either."

His dark tone cut into us like a whip. All twenty of us froze in our places. A few looked at each other uncertainly.

"Well?"

Oh shit. No one was coming forward. They must've been held back by fear. But if no one confessed…

"I did, Sir."

Mr. Nork turned his eyes on me. "Zemori, was it? …Hop to it, then. They're waiting for you here." He indicated the room on the map screen near the doors. I scanned the quickest path I could take and exited without a backward glance.

I marched to my destination without really seeing where I was going. All I could think about was what my punishment would be like.

Two guards stood on either side of the door that connected me to my doom. They let me pass without a word.

My worries were temporarily extinguished by the gigantic window at the front of the room. So many stars passing by… and even a couple of planets. I wished I could hold a tiny star in my hands, just to look at it up close.

The reason I was here rushed back to me when a towering shadow clouded my eyes. Just a few steps ahead of me was the tallest Irken I've ever seen. He was facing away from me, but I might as well get _his_ attention instead of waiting for him to notice me. If I had ever wanted to see the leaders in person, it wouldn't have been like this. Better to just get it over with.

I cleared my throat loudly. He peered behind him curiously, one hand resting on his chin.

"Um… You wanted to see me, my Tallest?"

"Hm? Who–?" Then he took note of my apron. "Ah," he said, his red eyes ridding themselves of confusion. "No, I didn't send for you. He did." With one long, pointy finger, he pointed over to an equally tall Irken.

I folded my hands together, bowed to him in thanks, and moved to the other leader.

He was… just standing there, facing sideways, staring at his glass of orange juice like it was an enemy spaceship he wanted to blow up.

I hesitated, hands still folded against my apron's symbol, and didn't dare take another step closer.

He noticed me in his peripheral vision and glided right up to me with half-lidded purple eyes. He regarded me for a while with the same expression glued to his face.

I waited.

And waited.

Oh, damn it! Oh, _shit!_

I really, really, really wanted to jump out that huge window into the eternal darkness and never be seen again.

I forced myself to bow my head as low as I could. "You– You wanted t-to see me, my Tallest?" I choked out.

"Yeah," he said. "'Bout time." He held up the drink with one hand and pointed down at it with the other. "What is this, huh?"

I blinked. It was orange, and the ice was still there. It didn't appear to have anything wrong with it.

"It's orange juice, my Tallest," I weakly answered.

"Uh-huh, yeah. That's right," he agreed, with his brow furrowed. "Now tell me…" He leaned down and stuck the beverage under my eyes. "What's all that… _stuff_ floating around in it?"

"It's… pulp, my Tallest."

"PULP!" he screamed, lifting both arms dramatically in the air. "Can you think of _anyone_ in the universe who actually _likes_ pulp in their juice?"

I could, but I didn't say so.

"That's what I thought." He studied me thoughtfully for a moment before continuing, "Well… Since it _is_ your first day and all… I guess your punishment shouldn't be _too_ bad." Then he dumped the glass's contents on my head.

The ice cubes fell to the floor while the liquid trickled down my face. It itched and burned at the same time, but not so much.

"Off you go. Get me another one."

"Yes, my Tallest."

A few of the staff members watched me leave. I must've looked pretty pathetic.

I kept my head down in shame the whole way back to the kitchen. The penetrating stares didn't phase me. I placed the old glass in the sink, got a new one, found a carton of pulp-less juice in the enormous fridge, poured it, and returned to the Almighty Tallest.

I bowed deeply, offering the new refreshing drink to its purple-eyed owner.

He swallowed a mouthful of it and exclaimed, "Now that's more like it!" He seemed much happier now. "I hoped you learned your lesson, uh…"

"Zemori, my Tallest."

"Right. And you won't make any mistakes again, will you?"

"No, my Tallest."

"Good. You're dismissed." He waved me away.

"Thank you, my Tallest." I folded my hands and bowed again.

If anyone asked me why I took the blame for someone else's blunder, I would merely respond with, "Because if no one spoke up, we might've _all_ been punished."


	4. Bar Duty

Due to such a busy schedule, time passed swiftly. We chefs adjusted to the business a lot faster than Mr. Nork expected. Thus, he decided that we earned the right not to be called "smeets" again. ("They grow up so fast," he sobbed.)

Every now and then our boss would have us each prepare a certain treat for him. It was a test, as he put it, to ensure our cooking skills were up to scratch and to prevent laziness. Sometimes I suspected that he was more interested in the treats than the tests.

As usual, I kept to myself, focusing on my tasks and trying to achieve perfection in everything. I learned a long time ago that by staying quiet and just listening, I could obtain all sorts of useful and interesting information. Since my associates often conversed among themselves while working, I picked up everyone's name with ease. The only situations where I spoke about things not relating to work were when Ki started a friendly chat with me. I found her a bit strange, but also very nice.

-xoxo-

One early "morning," Mr. Nork greeted us with, "I need a volunteer–"

My spiky gloved hand shot up instantly, almost poking someone's eye out in the process. "I'll do it, Sir!"

"What a surprise," somebody mumbled.

Mr. Nork's eyes widened. "Zemori, I haven't even said what it is I need you to do."

"I'll volunteer, Sir," I persisted.

"Kiss-ass," muttered another.

A small thud followed by a quiet "ow!" made me think that Ki had just stomped on that guy's foot.

Mr. Nork continued, "Very well then, Zemori, you'll be my volunteer… again. Everyone else, you know what to do." He folded his arms behind him and waited for me to make my way right in front of him.

Now that I was this close, I noticed something I hadn't before. He looked exactly one inch shorter than me! To be taller than my own boss… I couldn't help smiling. I pushed an image of him standing beside Mr. Reezle out of my mind before my smile could show teeth and make me look weird.

Mr. Nork misread my smile as eagerness to hear what he wanted me to do. "You know the bar on the upper levels? The one that recently opened up?"

"Yessir."

"The bartender's assistant is sick today. You're going to fill in for him."

He wanted me to work… at the bar?

No.

_No!_

_NOOOOOOOOOOO!_

"Yessir."

-xoxo-

I've heard stories about what it's like in a bar… Awful, terrible, horrific stories. Especially at night… that's when things really got crazy. Hopefully the rumors were nothing but exaggerations. I'd find out soon enough.

My temporary boss introduced me to all the drinks he kept. At the moment, my job was to wash dishes, clean tables, and wipe the counter. The bar was completely empty when I first arrived, as I expected.

When a few customers dropped by, I served them salted nuts and the bartender poured their beverages.

Hours passed, and that's when I started getting nervous. It was true after all; these types of drinks caused their victims to… _change_. Not physically, really, but emotionally— a change in their behavior. I listened to two females laugh annoyingly at every little thing. More than half of the consumers talked louder than necessary. One male was giggling one minute, then throwing a tantrum the next, then crying right after.

Having never seen anything like it before, I hovered somewhere between bewilderment and fascination.

Thank the Tallest no fights had broken out. I also tried my best to avoid conversing with anyone but the bartender. To be honest, I wasn't sure I could handle talking to someone cursed with inhibition. Luckily, everyone seemed too wrapped up in their own lives to even acknowledge me.

I guess it was around midnight when it happened. I should've _known_ that _something_ was bound to happen to me by the end of my shift. I can't walk into unknown territory and expect everything to go my way.

I should've raised my guard up the second the bartender told me he'd be right back.

As soon as he left, someone asked for a refill. Since I didn't know which drink to get, I _had_ to ask him what he had.

As I grabbed the correct bottle and filled his glass, he stared at me. I wanted to pour faster, but couldn't because that would increase the risk of spilling. I took extra care to watch what I was doing and not look up.

Finally, the glass was full. He took a sip. In that split-second, why didn't I just turn around and walk away?

He set his drink down and said very seriously, "You have unusual eyes."

Most Irken eyes are oval. Mine more closely resemble cut gems, like expensive jewels.

Taken aback, I stared, not knowing how to respond. Drunk or sober, drunk or sober? I couldn't really tell.

He said, just as seriously, "I want them." He lunged at me.

I let out a startled gasp when the force of the impact knocked me flat on my back. The crazy idiot's knees pressed into my gut and his hands clawed furiously at my face.

Instinctively, I shut my eyes as tight as I could. Deep beneath the fear was a burning anger, encouraging me to put the spikes on the wrists of my gloves to good use.

But harming a customer was out of the question.

Suddenly, I found that I was able to breathe normally. I dared to open my eyes and saw that the bartender had pulled my attacker off.

I sighed in relief and closed my eyes again. I rested on the floor until my temporary boss asked if I was okay.

-xoxo-

I learned many things that night. One was that rumors do have some truth to them. Another was always hear what the job is before volunteering for it. The most important lesson I learned was to never work in a bar again, unless I'm ordered to.


	5. Yogurt

The time I made the Tallest yogurt happened to be during one of Mr. Nork's test days. Instead of telling us what to make as usual, he requested that we all make something special. "Make me any treat you wish, but give it your own style— your own flavor, if you will."

At first my face and antennae fell in dismay. That meant he wanted us to be original, to not follow the exact recipes. It reminded me so much of cheating and not following the rules.

I kept telling myself, _"It's okay, this is allowed…"_

"And by the way," Mr. Nork added, "since I'm almost 100% sure all of you will pass, make two of your special treat— one for me and one for yourself. We'll eat it at the same time and you can explain to me how you came up with your creation."

This delighted us greatly; it would be the first time that he let us eat during business hours.

While I poured the mixture into the blender, it dawned on me that I could just slightly alter a simple treat for the boss. The humming of the device together with the swirling ingredients and the vibration tickling my fingers convinced me to double the number of cups of yogurt I had to prepare at the moment.

After blending, I put the soft, sweet-smelling pink paste in four separate containers. Since the Tallest ordered plain strawberry yogurt, I immediately placed a pair in the refrigerator to chill. I returned to the remaining two cups and thought of how to alter them. What went good with strawberry yogurt? What about strawberries in general? Chocolate… Strawberries dipped in chocolate are a delicacy. What else could I add? My own flavor… Well, I do have a favorite spice…

In a few minutes, two cups of strawberry yogurt with chocolate sprinkles and a dash of cinnamon lay before me. It wasn't much, but I'm not very creative. My treats joined the regulars to cool.

Soon Mr. Nork called us one at a time over to his office to be tested. I had a while to wait because my name starts with a _Z_.

I was about to head for the refrigerator when Ki embraced me from behind. I knew it was her because no one else on the ship ever touched me.

"You know I don't like physical contact, Ki," I said monotonously. But this was only partly true.

"Sooorrrryyy," she apologized. She stepped in front of me, did a quick little twirl, and chirped, "Umm, you made yogurt for the Tallest, right?"

"Yes…"

"Can I deliver it to them for you? _Pleeeeeeease?_ I haven't brought anything to them in foreverrrr!"

I laughed. "Well, in that case, I can't say no. You better hurry and then get back to work right away."

She gasped happily and squealed, "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" She dashed for the fridge.

I wondered why some people were so admiring of the Tallest. Sure, they were our leaders, but there really wasn't a need to get _that_ excited.

I returned to my duties, amused. It must've been at least five minutes before I realized my mistake.

I stopped what I was doing and checked the fridge. Yup, just like I thought: Ki took the wrong yogurts.

I was positive they had ordered strawberry yogurt, not strawberry yogurt with chocolate sprinkles and cinnamon mixed in it. Would they punish Ki? Or would they have her send over the cook responsible, like they did with the orange juice? This _was_ my fault, after all; I didn't tell Ki which containers to take.

My punishment this time would be much worse, no doubt about it. And I gave my word that I wouldn't make a mistake again…

Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a chef. Maybe there's something wrong with me.

Maybe I'm defective…

The kitchen's double doors opened to announce Ki's return. She looked around, found me, and headed my way.

I rallied myself up for what was coming. But to my surprise, she seemed happy.

"Hey, guess what! The Tallest said they liked your yogurt! They wanted me to give their compliments to the chef."

My mind went numb for a few seconds. This was quite the opposite of what I expected. I made an error in my job… and it resulted in praise? How… That…

"What's wrong, Zemori? You look confused."

"I am. I forgot to tell you to take the _plain_ strawberry yogurt. The ones you gave away were supposed to be for Mr. Nork's test."

"Oh, I'm sorry… But you can still make more, can't you?"

"I think so…"

"Sorry I took the wrong ones."

"Sorry I didn't tell you earlier…"

Mr. Reezle once said something like, "What's in the past is in the past." Only now did I take the time to value that statement.

I managed to recreate my "special" yogurt before my turn came up.

"And what have you cooked up for us, Zemori?"

"Strawberry yogurt, Sir."

He took a spoonful and took his time in tasting it.

"Chocolate sprinkles and… a dash of cinnamon, I presume."

"Yes, Sir."

"A simple alteration, eh? Not extravagant. But it'll do."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Well, go on then— Tell me how you came up with it."

"I just thought of what goes well with strawberries and yogurt, since I was already making some for the Tallest. So I used chocolate sprinkles and my favorite spice, cinnamon."

As we ate, he questioned me about my work— what I found easy, what I found difficult, how my previous position had been, and whether or not I liked the uniform. Then he turned the conversation in an informal, non-business direction. I couldn't help hesitating whenever it was my turn to speak.

He thanked me for the treat, said he enjoyed it, and released me. I got up and opened the door to leave.

"Zemori."

I looked back, my hand still on the doorknob. "Yessir?"

His eyes were narrowed, staring at his desk; he seemed to be deep in thought. He had his hands to his chin, his fingers touching each other lightly. He remained in this silent concentration for so long that I wondered if he had called me at all.

Finally, his eyes focused on me. "Don't stress yourself," he said.


	6. Disaster

A/N: Originally I wanted the audience to imagine for themselves what the characters look like, but I ended up drawing a few myself. Check out the Scraps section of my deviantART page if you'd like to see sketches of Ki, Nork, and Kilzin (who is revealed in this chapter).

* * *

At last, a momentous occasion arose! The very first planet to be added to our Irken Empire was the planet Blorch, home of the slaughtering rat people. The news spread throughout the Massive like wildfire. Everyone ascended into giddiness— even I felt like smiling at everything. The mood was so strong that we didn't mind it when Mr. Nork informed us that we were to prepare a feast. It wasn't meant for us, of course, but the whole Armada felt like celebrating.

He promised us the faster we worked, the sooner we could join the party.

This is going to sound crazy, but as I was chopping up cucumbers for a salad, I happened to glance at the window and could've sworn _a red planet zoomed by_. I blinked in utter shock and it was gone. Resisting the urge to go peek out the window, I dismissed the incident away. I must've been seeing things.

Once finished, I carried the salad out into the cafeteria. Everyone glowed excitedly and happily— it was contagious! I caught snippets of conversation that included the Tallest, an Invader named Skoodge, and Zim in a bear suit.

I hurried to the salad bar, where a few hungry Irkens waited patiently.

"Here you are!" I announced.

One of them replied, "Thank you— OH, IT'S _YOU_!"

I looked closer, and my whole body shivered. There stood none other than _him_—the guy from the bar who tried to scratch my eyes out.

Instinctively, I took a step back.

"Wait, don't run away." He separated himself from the others and moved around the counter. He strode right up to me and grabbed my hands with both of his own.

I froze.

"I want to apologize for before."

No offense, but it wasn't easy for me to forgive him right away. He gazed at me determinedly. I still had trouble telling the difference between when he was sober and when he wasn't.

A skeptical look appeared on my face.

"No, really. I'm sorry for what I did."

Despite myself, I relaxed by a tiny margin.

"In fact, I wanna make it up to you. As soon as you're off-duty, come hang out with us… And let me properly introduce myself. I'm Kilzin. And your name is…?"

I replied more out of habit than anything else. "Zemori."

"You have a lovely name, Zemori." His smile, if possible, grew even wider. "So what do you say?"

That did it. As gracefully as I could, I broke myself away from his touch. I turned my back and nearly spat, "Thanks for the offer, but _no_." I marched off in a huff.

But I couldn't stop from taking one final glance back. Kilzin still stood in the same spot, smirking with an arrogant glint in his eyes.

"_If he ever touches me again, I'll hit him."_

-xoxo-

Everyone bustled about in such a hurry to celebrate; I feared their rush would cause several accidents. Thankfully, they must've remembered to be quick _and _careful at the same time. The kitchen ended up like such a mess, though.

Hours later, Mr. Nork let us go.

"_HOLD IIITT!_" he screeched. Half of the cooks, who had just sprinted for the doors, halted in their tracks.

"You may go," he said, "as soon as you clean up this mess."

A collective groan answered him.

"_They really want to get out and have fun,"_ I thought. _"Well, they HAVE been working hard…"_ I decided to help my work-siblings out.

I raised my hand. "Sir! If it's alright, I'll stay behind and clean up."

Their reactions were mixed. Some looked instantly delighted; some stared at me like I was insane; Ki simply looked horrified.

As I predicted, Mr. Nork seemed reluctant. "Zemori—"

"I can handle it, Sir. It's no trouble at all. I'll stay here all night if I must."

Silently, Ki fainted.

While she was helped up, Mr. Nork closed his eyes and sighed. "I suppose…"

No one waited for him to finish his approval. They charged past him like a stampede. There were shouts of "Thank you so much!" and "I owe you one, Zem!"

I turned around to go get a mop. I'd begin with the floors first, then the dishes, then wipe the counters and the window, then clean the oven, then…

Someone was standing behind me. Gripping the mop, I whirled around to find Ki studying me blankly.

My tension disappeared. "Shouldn't you be partying with the others?" I asked curiously.

Ki was quiet. I hoped she wasn't sick.

Finally, she uttered, "Why?"

I blinked, then smiled. The answer was simple, really. I gladly explained, "Because I thought they all deserved a break. I don't mind cleaning all by myself, honestly!"

Ki shook her head. "That's not what I meant." Her eyes hardened, and she put her fists to her hips. "_Why_," she demanded, "do you always act like work is all that matters?"

"It's not an act. It's the truth… isn't it?"

Ki snorted. "Oh you poor, poor thing."

"Tell you what, Ki. If I finish early, I'll come find you and join the party. Sound good?"

Ki touched her bottom lip, thinking it through. "Hmmm… I guess it's better than nothing. But you _will_ keep your word, right?"

"Of course."

She squealed. "Oh, please hurry! Come find me at the TV Room in the lower levels— I heard they've turned it into a dance hall!"

"I will."

For a moment there, I thought she would say to meet her at the bar. I shuddered when Kilzin's face popped into my mind. I knew for certain that the bar would be cramped tonight.

-xoxo-

When I finished, I rested right on the windowsill. I wasn't sure how long I'd been working, but it felt like a very long time. It might've even been the next day already. Looking out the window didn't do any good in that sense.

Maybe the party was already over. I was in no hurry to leave when my exhaustion faded. But I promised, so I would go. I waited a little while, stalling. What if I ran into Kilzin out there?

I took my time putting my apron away. I walked to the TV Room. By the time I arrived, Ki saw me right away. She could tell I wasn't excited.

"But that'll soon change!" she declared.

I had no idea how to dance. Ki told me the trick was to let loose. She introduced me to her group of friends— some I recognized as our coworkers and some were people she'd just met hours ago. Then we all joined in the crowd on the dance floor.

Dancing proved to be even more awkward than I thought. But the music was so fast and loud, and everyone was so off in their own world that I don't think they noticed me. I tried focusing on the music and letting it take me. I actually had to _stop_ thinking about what I was doing, something I'm sure I've never tried before.

And it was fun… It was fun!

-xoxo-

Eventually, of course, the party had to end. Others may have had trouble getting back into the swing of things, but I welcomed it with open arms. To tell the truth, I missed it.

It pained me to see the aftereffects the celebration had on many of my work-siblings. Our progress slowed down quite noticeably. I worked twice as hard to make up for our pathetic performance. Once again, it felt like it was my fault.

I carried a large pan of unbaked cookies over to the biggest oven only to discover that it was completely full.

"Sorry," yawned the chef leaning near it, whose name I recalled was Trab. He had dark bags under his eyes and I could still detect a hint of alcohol on his breath. It looked like a feather wouldn't have much trouble knocking him over. "You'll hafta use another oven."

I nodded at him and moved on. He wasn't the only one looking like that today.

Mr. Nork had stayed unusually quiet throughout the day, making me worry. Soon after I put my cookies in a smaller oven, however, he could apparently take it no longer.

"Well, ain't this a bitch?" He looked around the room with contempt. "The flock leaves for one measly party and half of them return with a hangover." He shook his head. "Walk it off, you bums!" He then headed for the cabinet that housed bottles of ketchup, barbeque sauce, and the like. "I better move these outta the way before one of you does something unbelievably stu—"

Silence.

By now, most of us were watching our boss nervously. Even those who were just returning from recent deliveries or restocking the cafeteria took one step inside and knew something was wrong.

We heard nothing but the sounds of clinking as Mr. Nork rapidly checked a crate of black bottles at the bottom of the cabinet.

"_WHY ARE THE SE BOTTLES EMPTY?_" he screamed, shaking one in the air. "_WHO TOUCHED THESE?"_

I think the tone and volume of his voice magically cured everyone's hangover. A trembling hand climbed up as high as it could. We all directed our attention to its owner: Trab.

"Come. Here. _NOW_."

He obeyed. His body shook so violently, I could hear the clanking of his every step.

…Wait, clanking?

And this smell… At first I thought it was the scent of fear, but I realized it was just something baking. But it couldn't have been my cookies—

"What did you do with all these bottles?" Mr. Nork clamored. "Do you even _know_ what these are for?"

"I-I just needed sugar!" Trab gasped out. "They weren't in the cabinet they're normally in, so I looked in the one next to it! I thought— I thought—" Obviously he _hadn't_ been thinking— clearly, that is. "I thought SE stood for… Sugar Extract." He smiled sheepishly, beads of sweat rolling down his face.

The clanking grew steadily louder, but we were all too distracted to notice.

"You moron!" Mr. Nork held up the bottle to Trab's face. Indeed, the letters "SE" stood out in plain sight, until our boss showed the backside. On it was a label that read—

"Subdivision Experiment! This is the prototype for making food multiply! What the hell did you use them _all_ on?"

"Soufflés—"

At that moment, the clanking became so violent that even the most distracted of us couldn't ignore it anymore.

The oven— Trab's oven— the biggest oven in the kitchen— was leaking, smoking, and convulsing all at once.

Mr. Nork dropped the black bottle, which shattered into a thousand pieces all over the floor, and bolted toward the massive appliance.

But it was too late. In the single second that followed, we learned how potent the Subdivision Experiment truly was.

The oven literally exploded from the amount of soufflé it failed to keep contained. The fluffy concoction engulfed the entire kitchen within moments. I heard the shrieks right before they were muffled. All of us were swallowed whole, and it didn't stop there. Like a raging tsunami, it swept me away out the doors to expand throughout the cafeteria.

I was trapped, things bumped into me, I was suffocating, the golden brown mush was burning hot…

-xoxo-

I don't know how long I tumbled around, nor do I care. All that mattered was that it finally ceased.

I waited. Either I'd gone deaf, or everything around me hung uselessly in muteness.

I attempted to open my eyes. No good. The soufflé cushioned all around me, its aroma intoxicating me and its taste trespassing in my mouth. My head, my arms, my legs: all immovable. Faced downwards, I wished for unconsciousness to claim me. I didn't want to hover here with nothing to do but think.

For what seemed like hours, all I thought about was what was happening right now. Where was Ki? Was anyone injured?

Soon, without really meaning to, my thoughts traveled over to how this all started. Maybe if I'd kept quiet, and we all stayed behind to clean, then there wouldn't have been enough time for anyone to get wasted. Not that much, anyway. Maybe if I'd lingered long enough to talk to Trab, I would've realized his mistake. Maybe if I'd done something about the clanking as soon as I heard it…

"What's in the past is in the past."

What about the present? Was this the end for me? Was I going to die here? I didn't know what death was like, but I knew that if I _did_ die, then there'd be no way I could ever make a mistake again.

Perhaps it was for the best. Perhaps it was for the good of the Irken Empire that I stopped living, since all I seemed to be good at was causing trouble. _"Mr. Reezle. Mr. Nork. Ki. Everyone… I'm sorry."_

At long last, I slipped away into nothingness.

-xoxo-

"Hey, she's over here!"

"Is she breathing?"

"Check her pak!"

"Zemori, _please_ wake up!"

Someone grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "Zemori," the voice said.

I was alive? But it was still hard to move.

"Zemori." It was Mr. Nork.

"_Come on, eyes! Open!"_ I willed myself to do this one simple thing. By a stroke of luck, my strength eased its way back to me.

A blinding white light was all I saw at first, but then my surroundings blurred into view. The nameless shapes took many seconds to form coherently. I was in the now-partly-scraped-out-but-still-ruined cafeteria, watching the faces staring at me: Ki, our boss, and a few others. They lit up when they saw me wake. Every one of them had bits of soufflé stuck to their head and clothes. Mr. Nork held me upright; one arm steadied my head and the other supported my lower back.

They all looked relieved to see me alive. But what about the damages?

…

…Won't I just mess up again later…?

My eyes stung and grew moist. I blinked, but it only got worse. The chefs flinched.

Before I knew it, rivers of tears were flowing down my cheeks continuously. They dripped onto the golden brown floor.

I made these weird choking noises that erupted into full-blown agonizing wails. Ashamed, I covered my eyes as if it would help.

I sobbed and I wept and I bawled and I _could not fucking stop crying!_

Screw it. Since I had no power to stop, I just did whatever came to me. No one said a word as I pressed my face into Mr. Nork's apron, grabbing it with fists clenched so tight I thought they'd break, and let out all the anguish I'd unknowingly hidden inside for more years than I could remember.


	7. Bob

It turned out that my pak _had_ been damaged. I was sent to the dispensary to be looked over. Too frightened of being without my pak for even one minute, I pleaded to be examined with it still on my back.

The extent of the damage required its removal to be fixed, much to my dismay. It only took five minutes to make my pak fully functional again, but I couldn't stop hugging my knees and shivering every second I was without it.

-xoxo-

It took approximately four days for the cafeteria and kitchen to get back to normal. Luckily, we were able to satisfy the Armada's appetite with snacks from the storage room. Rumor had it that Tallest Purple suffered a massive panic attack when he heard about the accident.

I didn't feel like myself the first day I returned to work. Normally I strived to give 110% in my tasks, but now I did everything robotically. I barely noticed what I was doing.

Weeks passed, and I hardly spoke. Ki attempted to cheer me up, but all I did was listen. I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say.

Out of nowhere, Mr. Nork specifically chose Ki and me to do some volunteer work. We were to serve the Almighty Tallest and the Invaders in the mini-café/lounge room. Apparently, they were all taking a break and entertaining themselves by watching Zim and Skoodge endure the military training course on Planet Hobo 13. The main reason we were sent was to aid the servant known as Table-Headed Service Drone Bob. I could tell just by looking at him how miserable he was.

"C'mon, you two, chin up!" Ki said, pulling our hands together in one of those "teamwork" poses. "You won't get anywhere with that gloomy attitude!"

"_We CAN'T go anywhere, Ki,"_ I thought.

Our job couldn't have been easier. All we had to do was serve drinks and snacks, which we got from the room's mini juice bar. It wasn't all that different from the time I worked at the _other_ bar… aside from the fact that this atmosphere was much nicer.

After everyone was satisfied, Ki and I watched lazily from the counter as a television screen showed what was happening on Hobo 13. Bob weaved around the tables, offering refills from the tray on his head.

The Tallest decided to spice things up a bit with a gamble. The Invaders placed wagers on how Zim would ultimately fail the evaluation. Tallest Red whispered something to his partner that I couldn't hear.

Tallest Purple, electronic pen and clipboard in hand, raised his arms in the air. "Any bets for Zim succeeding?"

No one spoke.

"Come on!"

Since no one was interested, Red leaned down to address Bob.

"You! Table-Headed-Service-Drone Bob! You will bet 500,000 monies on Zim!"

Bob blinked. "But I only make 5 monies every two years."

"500,000 for Zim!" Purple cheered.

The others cheered, too.

A sudden cold-yet-warm surge spread throughout my body. It hit so quickly that my eyes widened almost painfully. It took a while, but I finally recalled the name of this feeling that filled me: pity. Pity for another person…

I looked over at Ki to see what her reaction to this was. Her hands were on her cheeks and she was smiling.

"I'm in the same room as the Tallest," she whispered.

I rolled my eyes.

One of the Invaders whistled, calling Bob over for another drink. The poor guy had his head down and all but dragged himself across the floor.

I thought about what I could say to him. The harder I tried, the more I realized it was useless.

Soon, however, a voice pulled me away from my thoughts.

"Victory!"

It was Zim, on the screen. Judging from his smile, he had just passed the first trial.

Wait, so that meant…

I looked around for Bob. He now had a calculator in his hands and a tall flag attached to his service contraption that read, "Go Zim!"

Where he got them is something I'll never know.

As the next trial progressed, someone asked for more snacks. I got down from the counter, but Ki beat me to it. She had a huge grin on her face as she approached the Invader. If I didn't know better, I'd say she just wanted an excuse to get closer to the Tallest.

"I need a refill here!" someone else yelled.

Bob continued messing with his calculator. Frowning, I picked up a large pitcher and went to fill the empty glass myself.

"If Zim finishes," I heard Bob say, "I get six million monies…"

Then Purple spoke up. "Oh, Bobby? It appears I need a refill. Thanks."

"AGH, GET IT YOURSELF!"

I nearly dropped the pitcher. My antennae shot up. My body moved even before I could give it the order. I sprinted to them and exclaimed, "H-H-Here you go, my Tallest!"

I clumsily poured the drink, filled Red's cup as well, seized Bob's elbow, and yanked him away.

I pulled him all the way to the mini-bar, ignoring Ki, who stared at _me_ (not Bob) with her mouth wide-open.

Once safely hidden behind the counter, I let him go. "_Have_._ You_._ Gone_._ Completely_._ INSANE?_" I set the pitcher aside and tapped my foot.

Bob's sparkling eyes never left the number displayed on his calculator. "What do you mean?"

I gritted my teeth. "I _mean_… How _dare_ you talk back to him like that. They're our _leaders_."

He finally looked up. The smile disappeared from his face as he studied me. "You always do what you're told, don't you?"

The question took me by surprise. "Y-Yes… We're supposed to. Right?"

More blank staring. "You've never questioned why, have you? You've never even thought about it."

"…"

Bob turned. "Start questioning," he told me. Then he walked off.

I gazed at the floor and put my hand to my lip. We're supposed to do what we're told because… we have to. We have to because… Because the Tallest said so… Because they're taller… But Mr. Nork's shorter, and I still have to obey him because he's the boss… We have to obey because… it's the way we are. We are like this because… it's for the empire. We serve the empire because… we have to. We have to because… Because…

I shook my head furiously. It was too much. It was too messy to make any sense out of it. I didn't like this mess, but at the same time, it was like a thousand doors that had stayed shut in my mind suddenly all burst open. I found myself wanting to explore these new rooms. Some of them might hold something amazing…

I felt a tap on my shoulder. Ki asked if there was anything wrong.

"No… At least, I hope not."

Ki let out a very long, delighted gasp. "Oh, you're talking again! You're finally all cheered up! I could kiss Bob! What happened, anyway?"

"Nothing, really… I dunno…"

She seemed satisfied. Together, we sat on the counter and watched the rest of the show. Zim's methods weren't very… admirable, but they got the job done. So, in the end…

"I am Zim! Bring me the tanks!"

"You can serve yourselves from now on!" Bob tossed his equipment away and laughed in triumph.

I was glad that Bob wouldn't be spending the rest of his life in debt, but… The Tallest sure didn't look happy…

Afterward, the Invaders and the Tallest left, taking an elated Bob with them. Ki and I stayed behind and cleaned up.

Even after I turned the lights off, his words still echoed in my head. Start questioning… Start questioning…


	8. The Dream

This might seem crazy, but… it really happened. At least, I _think_ it did. It's too weird to make up. And it felt so _real_. The only way to describe this experience is by calling it a dream. _Was_ it a dream? But… I could swear that it happened, somehow.

We—the Massive, the Armada—were on our way to Earth. No one was really worried, since hardly any of us had even heard of that planet before. Apparently, it was the place Zim had been sent to long ago.

I was cooking some soup when I heard Trab gasp.

"Look!"

He was pointing out the kitchen's one window. Everyone rushed over, dropping cutlery and dishes. I turned the fire down before joining them.

Hundreds of bags of all colors, shapes, and sizes floated up and away. They were… _the snacks_.

We watched them fly off amidst the lasers firing all around.

"We are so screwed."

Suddenly, the room lurched. I lost my balance and fell. It didn't go back to normal. In fact, it got worse. The whole kitchen tilted, sending pots and pans tumbling down.

"What's happening?" Ki cried.

Someone shouted, "It's the Massive! She's going down!"

Mr. Nork took charge. "Everyone! Grab onto something sturdy! Try not to use your pak unless you absolutely have to!"

I stood up and immediately fell again. I crawled on the floor, reaching for the sturdiest thing closest to me: a cupboard's door. Afraid that I'd yank it right off its hinges, I pulled myself inside the cramped space. I threw out the buckets and sponges that lay inside. It was no use keeping the door shut.

I couldn't stop panting. How did this happen? The Massive was supposed to be invincible! What sort of powerful force had defeated the unbeatable spaceship?

I tried to calm down as everything vibrated. I glanced out only to find spoons, forks, spatulas, and the like rolling downhill at an alarming speed. Sweat dripped into my eyes, so I shut them as tight as I could.

Gradually, I felt the floor straighten out again. But I didn't even squint. The Massive was still hurtling toward Earth, I just knew it. I heard a voice from far away scream that we had to evacuate.

And then it happened. The impact. The collision. The end. Blackout.

Next thing I knew, I was making burritos.

Like nothing ever happened.

So it must have been a dream—a nightmare. Right…?

How strange.


	9. Donuts: The Day the Massive Lost Control

"Everyone," Mr. Nork began, "I need a volunteer." He took a moment to scan his eyes over us. "It's for the Tallest."

A few of us raised our hand.

"However…" he went on, "There's a slight… _annoyance _going on in the control room right now."

Several of us looked at each other uneasily. What exactly did he mean by "annoyance"? All the hands lowered but mine. I slowly started to bring it down but changed my mind. I'd gone through quite a few ordeals already, so what's one more gonna do?

Mr. Nork took me aside and showed me a pushcart. On its top surface rested a tray. It had two large flat paper bags and two small droppers. Underneath, on the low surface just above the wheels, was a little oven. It wasn't on.

"There's donuts in the oven," Mr. Nork told me. "They're for everybody in the control room, and they're already cooked. These eyedroppers are filled with the Subdivision Experiment. Once you get to the room, fill these bags with the donuts. Then, _carefully_ empty out one dropper in each bag. Do it _one drop at a time_. Understand?"

"Yes, Sir. I'll be very careful."

Mr. Nork nodded. "Off you go, then." I grabbed the cart's handle and began to push. "Oh… One more thing." He looked at me solemnly and said, "Good luck."

I wanted to ask what the "annoyance" was, but decided against it. Instead, I gave a quick salute and went on my way.

I rolled the cart out the cafeteria and through the maze of hallways until I reached the control room's door. In my head, I mentally prepared myself. There was a quiet buzzing noise coming from the other side. I took a deep breath and stepped inside.

The quiet buzzing became a voice the second the door opened. I saw the backs of the Tallest; both of them faced a _huge_ transmission screen. On the screen was none other than Zim. The voice belonged to him.

Everyone else was busy on their control panel. I hesitantly walked further into the circular room, but kept out of sight.

And all the while, Zim never stopped talking. If you could call it "talking"—he just repeated the same things over and over. I had no reason to doubt that this was the "annoyance" Mr. Nork mentioned.

"My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest! My Tallest! My, my-my Tallest! My Ta-a-a-l-lest! Hey! Hey! Hey, over here, my Tallest! My Tallest~? My Tallest~! _My Tallest!_ My Tallest! Hey! My Tallest, my Tallest, my Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Talllllest! My Tallest…! My Tallest? ! Hey! MAH TALLEST! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Taaalllleessst! Hey, hey, my Tallest! M-my! My Tall! Hey, my Tallest! It's me! Look at me! My Tallest? My Tallest! My Tallest?"

Sweet silence graced us. Had I gone deaf? No?

It was over? It stopped? He stopped!

I heard Tallest Red say, "I was curious to see when you'd shut up on your own. But it's been _three_ hours now, Zim. _THREE HOURS!_ So… what is it?"

"I just noticed that you're traveling closer to the Earth than _ever_ before."

"How do you know that?" Tallest Purple asked suspiciously.

"Oh, I know all kinds of things about you. Pretty creepy, huh?"

I smiled just imagining the looks on their faces.

"Hey… That _is_ creepy. You're creepy, Zim."

My smile grew. Like everyone else in the room, I listened to the conversation while carefully doing my job at the same time.

As Zim tried to persuade the Tallest into coming to Earth, I finished adding drops to the first bag of donuts and began on the second. The Subdivision Experiment would serve as a replenishing substance, so that the donuts would gradually multiply. It wouldn't last forever, but I was sure everyone would be full before the effects wore off.

The Tallest declined Zim's offer and pretended we were under attack as an excuse to cut the transmission. I heard static behind me.

" 'Enemy vessel,'" Tallest Red scoffed. "As though anyone would dare go up against the Massive."

"Yeah, that is pretty funny—HEY, SOMEONE'S MAKIN' DONUTS!"

I heard both of them cheer. I added the final drop and the next thing I knew, the Tallest hovered right behind me. They pushed me out of the way, grabbed the bags, and commenced munching.

I dusted my apron off and raised a finger. "Uh, my Tallest…?"

But they'd already gone away.

"…Those were supposed to be… for everybody…"

I stood there for a while, wondering if I should go up to them and tell them. I couldn't even if I wanted; my feet wouldn't move forward, as if they were glued to the floor. I trembled at what would happen if I interrupted their snacking. I might be yelled at, dismissed and forced to leave in shame, or even ejected into the endless black void. Better safe than sorry.

I sighed inwardly. I had no choice. Defeated, I pushed the cart and tried not to look at anyone on my way out.

I entered the cafeteria wondering if the Tallest would share. Probably not.

"Long time no see, Zemori."

I turned my head to the right and saw Kilzin sitting at a table with his comrades. He had that grin painted on his face and a soft glow in his eyes, as if he were looking at a scrumptious slice of cheesecake.

"Kilzin." I greeted him through my teeth and continued walking. He didn't try to stop me.

I heard a female voice from that same table complain, "Y'know, it's rude to stare at a girl without her permission, Kilzy. So stare at _me_."

"No, me!" another begged.

I wanted to gag.

Shortly after I stepped into the kitchen, many people immediately asked what the "annoyance" was. I told them.

"Glad I changed my mind about volunteering."

"Me too."

"I'm just glad I wasn't there during the whole three hours," I said.

"My poor Almighty Tallest…" said Ki.

I then wheeled the pushcart toward Mr. Nork, who took it off my hands.

"Glad to see your state of mind is still intact. A lesser Irken would've cracked." He picked up one of the empty droppers and examined it closely. "I take it you had no trouble with the SE?"

"No, Sir. I mean, well…"

"Hm?" He tore his eyes away from the tube to peer at me mildly.

"It's just that… The Tallest took the donuts before I could tell them… They just took 'em and started eating without… I'm worried about the others. What if they go hungry, and the Tallest don't…?"

Mr. Nork closed his eyes and laughed. I stood there motionless, at a lost. His wild, wide-mouthed laughter reverberated off the walls of the entire kitchen.

"Ze—mori!" he choked out. "You shouldn't be worrying about something like that!"

"She always worries!" Ki yelled merrily from her station.

Mr. Nork put the dropper down and wiped an eye with one of his clawed fingers. "Our leaders may be selfish when it comes to food, but don't let it bother you."

"Um, then… I know you said they were for everybody, so… doesn't that mean I… failed?" I couldn't keep eye contact anymore, so I gazed down at my hands. One was rubbing the other in a circular motion.

"No, of course not." He approached me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I cringed.

I squeezed my eyes shut. But then I noticed the warmth. My hands stopped. My antennae stopped quivering.

I opened my eyes and blinked. Again, I became very aware of how he, my boss, was one inch shorter than me.

His red eyes were steady. He was smiling. He asked, "Remember how I told you not to stress yourself?"

I blinked again and barely managed to reply. "Yes… Sir."

He closed his eyes and nodded. His hands slid off my shoulders and he rolled the cart away without another word or glance.

The warmth lingered.

Realizing I had work to do, I headed for my station. I passed by Ki, who was smirking.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing." She continued to smirk and resumed peeling potatoes.

About an hour and a half later, the kitchen veered to one side.

"What the—?"

"Is it an Irkquake?"

"Don't be stupid, how can there be—"

The entire kitchen jerked from side to side. Next thing we knew, we were lifted off our feet. The room did a slow backflip.

Oh, no—No way. Instantly, the "dream" I had a while ago sprang to my mind. Maybe it hadn't been a nightmare at all, like I thought. That's it—it was a vision! Sort of…

"Everyone, keep away from the appliances!" Mr. Nork commanded us while hanging onto his office door. He swung himself inside and in a few seconds, everything—the counters, the fridge, the ovens and stoves—was encased in a metal covering.

Many of us hung onto the windowsill; others clung to anything that jutted out of the walls and ceiling. Our bodies flailed in time with the motions of the ship.

I was gripping on the edge of the map screen near the kitchen doors, looking for Ki. She was tumbling around, not hanging onto anything!

"Ki!" I called out. "Here, grab my hand!"

"WHEEEEEEEEEE!" she replied.

That's when I noticed Trab wasn't trying to hold on, either. "What a great excuse to not work!" he declared.

Someone from the window shouted, "What the hell is going on? ! Is the driver drunk or something? !"

I bit my lip and let go of the screen. With difficulty, I managed to "swim," flail, toss, tumble, pull, and swing myself to the window. Judging by the asteroids that were passing us by, I'd say we were headed _somewhere_.

Then it hit me.

"_I just noticed that you're traveling closer to the Earth than EVER before."_

I remembered him saying…

"_Anyhow, since you're so nearby, you can come see me initiate my newest most DIABOLICAL PLAN TO DESTROY THE HUMANS! I made sandwiches~"_

In my "vision," we had been hurtling toward Earth…

"_What_ are the Tallest _thinking_?" said the person next to me.

"No," I whispered. I cleared my throat and spoke up. "The Tallest aren't doing this."

They looked at me curiously. One asked how I could be so sure.

"I know where we're going," I said, "and I know who's doing it."

They asked me questions, but I ignored them. I had to get to Mr. Nork. I turned my head and saw that he and Ki were hanging onto his office door.

I let go of the windowsill, expecting to repeat the gymnastic maneuvers, but at that moment the Massive made a sudden change in direction. The second I let go, I was catapulted to where I wanted to be.

Mr. Nork, clutching the top of the door, moved aside so I could join them. Ki was gripping the doorknob.

"Hi, Zemori!" she greeted. "Mr. Nork, _please?_"

"For the last time, _no!_"

"Huh? What?" For a moment, I was completely distracted from what I had come here for.

"She keeps asking me if she can lock herself in my office."

"Because I think it'll be fun!"

"How is tumbling around in an enclosed space fun? ! You could hurt yourself!"

"No, I won't! I promise!"

"EXCUSE ME, BUT I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY!"

I blinked and slapped my hand over my mouth. Everyone stared at me. The volume of my outburst could've even rivaled that of Mr. Nork's!

My face grew hot. "Um… Sir, I have to get out."

"Why? Where are you going?"

I narrowed my eyes. "The snacks are in danger."

"How do you—"

"I just do. I have this very strong feeling. I'm going to check."

He frowned. I wondered if he thought I lost my mind. I waited anxiously for his answer.

"I'm going with you."

"Huh? But—?"

"I'm going, too," Ki chipped in. "It'll be an adventure!"

"And it looks like this'll go on for a while. So let's go." And with that, he extended two thin metal spidery legs from his pak. They had a small suction cup at the tip, allowing him to stick them to the ceiling. Although he still swayed dangerously sometimes, he was able to make it out of the kitchen.

Ki and I followed suit, but before we made it to the doors, we heard everyone else shriek. The room's temperature increased rapidly. I looked at the window and saw nothing but an enormous ball of flame…

"Keep going!" Ki screamed.

It felt like we were in an oven. Ki and I launched ourselves into the cafeteria, where people held onto the bolted-down tables for dear life. We took long airborne strides to catch up to our boss, who was closing in on the exit.

We did our best to dodge flying plates, food, and occasionally Irkens. I cried out in pain when something sharp, probably a knife or fork, pierced my cheek. I gritted my teeth and kept moving.

"C'mon, hurry!" Mr. Nork held the doors for us, and we all crashed into each other in our rush to get out.

The heat faded away as we continued toward the Snack Storage Room. We could hear things bumping into the ship, and I could've sworn at one point that I heard lasers. I silently hoped that we wouldn't meet the same fateful ending my vision foretold.

The lights flickered on and off. The space between the ceiling and the floor shortened, so all three of us dropped our feet to the ground, but kept our spider legs suspended.

"Where is everyone?" Ki whispered.

"Probably inside their rooms, or whatever room was closest to them," said Mr. Nork. "I think the Massive's under lockdown now."

"Yeah," said a spiteful voice, "and you'd think they'd _warn_ you before slamming the doors shut."

"That voice…" I murmured. I recognized it. It was coming from just ahead of us. I ran toward it.

"Zemori, wait for us! You just missed our turn!" Ki called.

They followed me. There, his foot, arm, and pak caught between a wall and a sliding door, stood Kilzin.

He did a double take. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Are you severely injured?" I asked.

"Not really."

Ki and Mr. Nork arrived. The former looked at me curiously. Kilzin noticed her and said, "So who's your hot friend there?"

Ki blinked. Then she walked—or trudged—right up to him, drew back a fist, and punched him across the face.

My and Mr. Nork's jaw dropped.

Kilzin grinned. "Feisty."

"C'mon, let's leave this asshole." And so saying, she turned on her heel.

"Wait, Ki, we can't just leave him here."

Mr. Nork, noting Kilzin's condition, said, "The best way to get him unstuck is to pull him out."

"Let's push him in."

I smiled. "Ki, be nice."

"I will when he apologizes!" Ki jabbed her finger at Kilzin.

"Apologize? ! For _what_? !"

Suddenly, the Massive gave a particularly violent lurch. All four of us were nearly thrown to the ground. Kilzin drew a sharp intake of breath. He kept his eyes closed.

I stepped close to him and asked if he could use his pak. He'd been trying, but nothing ever fully came out.

I wrapped one arm around his head and used the other on his shoulder. Mr. Nork hugged me from behind, and we pulled. Eventually, Ki joined in.

We gave one final tug, and Kilzin popped out. The door simultaneously slid shut and clicked.

We stood up and dusted ourselves off. Kilzin stumbled and swept his arm around my shoulder for balance. Or he might've fallen on purpose. Either way, I told him to activate his pak and do what the rest of us were doing. It worked without any trouble now that it was free.

"You sure you're alright?" Mr. Nork questioned.

"My foot's a bit numb and my arm's a bit limp, but I'm fine."

"Good. Let's get a move on." Mr. Nork led the way.

I expected Kilzin to ask where we were going, but he never did. Instead, he glanced at me and looked away. For a while, all was quiet save for the noises our suction cups made.

Kilzin glanced at me and looked away again. I narrowed one of my eyes suspiciously. He lifted his head, saw me, and lowered it again.

Still keeping his head down, he muttered, "Thank you."

Whoa. He was actually being humble for once.

"You're welcome."

Ki heard this exchange, and I saw her face slacken. She turned toward Kilzin and said, "I'm sorry. I overreacted."

His eyes widened, but he didn't answer her.

At last, we reached our destination. The area around the storage room's entrance was heavily damaged. Several large dents covered the walls and a thick burnt scent hung all over.

"Hang on while I override the lockdown system." Mr. Nork typed in some code on the control pad by the door. He had to do it two more times because the power liked switching on and off on us.

Once inside, we found the snacks to be safe and sound. But the walls, ceiling, and even the floor had inward dents, and the burnt smell was even stronger here. Some bags had fallen to the floor.

Mr. Nork gave orders as he picked them up. "Ki, Zemori, get the ladders and look out those two windows to see what's happening. You," he pointed at Kilzin, "go to that corner and look for another control pad. When I give the word, push the big red button."

"Yessir," I said.

"Right away," said Ki.

"My name's not 'You,' it's 'Kilzin.'"

We all did what we were told. Ki and I each took a ladder and climbed up to one of the two round windows in the back.

"Now, Kilzin!"

I heard rattling. A quick peek behind me revealed that every stack, pile, and tower of snacks was slowly encased with a metallic covering.

"What do you see up there?"

The ship rocked. Then all was calm.

I stood on the ladder in a trance. I pressed my face against the glass. There it was. A planet. A planet I'd never seen before, but knew anyway. It wasn't at all how I'd pictured it. It was way prettier than I'd thought.

Blue, white, some brown… It almost looked good enough to eat. Beautiful yet simple.

"Uh… Mr. Nork?" Ki's voice seemed far away. "I see a ship."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's… I think it's a _Vort_ ship."

"Lemme see."

Steps creaked.

I saw the ship appear, too. Then a flock of smaller ships escaped from it and flew past us. I watched the gray spaceship fall. It seemed to (literally) get smaller and smaller as it descended.

Mr. Nork climbed down the ladder and went to Kilzin and Ki. From my peripheral vision, I saw them all look up at me.

"Zemori, what did you see?" Ki asked. "What are you lookin' at?"

I managed to take my eyes away from the window. I smiled down at them.

"Earth."


	10. A Healthy Meal

A/N: At last, it's the final chapter. Wait... Oh, no! It's the final chapter! D:

Well, I didn't intend for this fic to be that long anyway. Feel free to check my profile to view my devART page, where I just uploaded a picture based on Chapter 3. I may also draw a pic featuring the whole cast.

Thanks so much to everyone for reading Zemori's story!

~xoxo~HAPPY HOLIDAYS~xoxo~

* * *

Once Mr. Nork, Kilzin, Ki, and I left the storage room, all power had been restored to the Massive. An announcement rang out through every room and hallway explaining, more or less, what had happened: "someone" had hacked into our power core, but thanks to the "intelligence and courage of the Almighty Tallest," things could settle back to normal. It also announced that a crew had arrived to clean up both the indoor and outdoor mess. Everyone was officially off-duty until further notice.

Ki and Kilzin rejoiced over this last piece of info. Mr. Nork's eyes narrowed.

"Um, if you want, I'll help clean up," I offered.

"Huh? Oh, I'm not upset over _that_… It's that ship."

"The gray one? The Vort ship?"

"Yes… There aren't supposed to be any left." His brow furrowed deeply, and he said no more.

We came to a fork in the hall. Kilzin said, "Well. This is where we go our separate ways. So… I'll see ya around. Keep up the good work. Your food kicks ass."

We all waved goodbye. He strolled away.

I ran after him. "Kilzin, wait."

He stopped and eyed me cautiously.

I stretched out my arm. "I forgive you."

He blinked. Then understanding dawned on him. He took my hand and we shook firmly.

-xoxo-

Only two groups of people dwelled in the cafeteria when we returned: our work-siblings and the cleanup crew.

The chefs sat at the longest table. They saw us come in and beckoned us over. Ki immediately dashed to them as if they were a magnet. Mr. Nork and I continued to walk.

"Go ahead and hang out," he told me. "I'm going to the kitchen to make sure those dolts don't screw up my office."

"Okay."

"Zemori…" He raised an arm and gently gripped my chin between his gloved fingers. He pulled my face in his direction. He examined me closely. "What happened to your cheek?"

"Huh?" I felt along the cheek he was looking at. My fingers glided over a cut, and I recalled what happened as Ki and I fled the cafeteria earlier. "Oh… I must've got scratched back when…"

"You should go get it checked out." He let go.

"It'll heal on its own."

Mr. Nork halted. I stumbled in my haste to stop walking and turned to face him.

He looked amused. "Normally, you'd say something like, 'Yessir,' and hurry off to the dispensary."

I gasped and covered my mouth with both hands. He was right! What had gotten into me? Talking back to my employer like that!

"I-I-I-I'm sorry, Sir! I meant no disrespect, Sir! I'll go right away and—"

"Zemori, be quiet."

I squeaked. I stood rigid, my eyes wide and attentive; my antennae perked up and held their position; my hands folded neatly in front of my apron. I waited.

Mr. Nork stared at me, smiling; his eyes lit up, his head slightly crooked; his arms folded across his chest.

Neither of us spoke. I waited. Wasn't he about to give me another order? Was he waiting for something? Were we having a staring contest? I blinked. Nothing. I waited some more.

He hadn't budged. I didn't know why, but I started to find this funny. I smiled despite myself. I giggled.

Mr. Nork nodded. He unfolded his arms and brushed past me. "Just as I thought," he said, "I like it more when you're happy."

At first, I didn't think I heard him right. I spun around and watched him leave. Then I went and sat at the table with the others, since it was surely nothing to worry about.

-xoxo-

About a week after the Zim incident, I happened to deliver food to the Tallest three days in a row. On the first day, they ordered quesadillas. The next day I delivered potato chips. The day after that I gave them corndogs, fries, and chocolate shakes. Needless to say, I noticed a pattern. The Tallest ate nothing but junk food.

I worried about their health. It was obvious that they preferred unhealthy snacks because they're delicious compared to broccoli or celery. Still, no one should have that kind of diet on a daily basis. They should at least have some fruit or something every now and then.

To be honest, I feared both of them would one day bite into some sugar cookies and drop dead.

And so, an idea formed in my head. It was risky, but if it worked, then I'd be relieved. I didn't want them to get sick—it was vital that they continued to lead us. No, that wasn't it. I didn't want them to get sick, period.

During my next delivery, I prepared to put my plan into action. I tried to keep my hands from shaking as I carried a tray holding two plates of cherry pie.

"_No matter what,"_ I reminded myself, _"you will not leave until you've said everything you need to say. Don't let fear control you. Don't run away… Start questioning…"_

I kept trying to convince myself everything would be alright. But it didn't matter—I was scared out of my mind regardless. But I was going to do it anyway.

I approached the door. _"Get in, get it out, get it over with."_ I stopped thinking and went in.

I walked up to them, bowed, and presented their treat. They each took a plate and fork and sampled it. They nodded their approval.

This was the part where I was supposed to disappear. But I didn't.

Instead, I spoke. "My Tallest."

It didn't come out like I expected. I meant it to sound like I was saying, "Excuse me? My Tallest?" But instead it sounded like, "My Tallest, I command you to shut up and listen to me right this minute." Where had I heard such a confident and authoritative tone before? Mr. Nork, right? Whoa…

They were shocked not only at my tone of voice, but also at the fact that I was still there. Tallest Purple blinked with his fork still in his mouth.

Tallest Red slowly removed his own fork and said, "What is it, chef?" He looked and sounded annoyed.

"I couldn't help but notice that your diet is… lacking." I continued speaking as if I was above them. "You never eat any… vegetables… or fruit…"

"Cherry is a fruit," Tallest Purple defended.

"But—"

"Enough." Tallest Red pointed his fork at me as if he wanted to stab me with it. "Your job is to cook for us, not consult with us about our nutrition. Know your place, _chef_."

The conversation was over.

I knew it would end like this, but I didn't expect to feel angry. My mouth tightened into a straight line. I whipped around and left without bowing.

My mind didn't clear until I reached the sanctuary of the kitchen. _"Shit. I left without saying everything I needed to say."_

Two days later, I brought them cotton candy. They reached out eagerly for their snacks, but I hid them behind my back.

"Can I cook for you?"

"You already do," they said.

"I mean, can I prepare a meal especially for you?"

"What kind?" asked Tallest Red.

"The kind you need: a healthy m—"

"NO!" Tallest Purple screamed. "Not that yucky stuff!"

"It won't be yucky! Really, I can—"

"PUMMEL HER!" he ordered.

Out of nowhere, robotic tentacles with mallets appeared and whacked me repeatedly. The cotton candy flew out of my hands, and my leaders caught them. They laughed as the mallets chased me away.

Well… third time's the charm, right?

Some time later…

"My Tallest?"

"No."

"But it's very important!"

"You're that same girl, aren't you?" Tallest Purple remarked.

"Yes, my Tallest." I did a little curtsy with my apron. "I'm Zemori. Now, about—"

A hole uncovered itself beneath my feet, and I fell. I slid down a chute of some sort. At first, I was terrified that it was sending me to my doom, but it ended up spitting me into the kitchen. I dropped from the ceiling and landed hard on the floor, facedown. I groaned and lifted my head. When I glanced at the ceiling, the hole had already disappeared. How exactly my journey's route was even possible is beyond me.

"Oww."

Not long after my third try, Mr. Nork summoned me.

"Zemori, see me in my office. Now."

I felt the eyes of some of my coworkers watch me as I followed him. Déjà vu…

"Close the door."

I did.

"Sit down."

I did.

"…In the _chair_, Zemori."

My smile faded. I should've known from the start that this was serious. I sat across from him, predicting what he wanted to talk about.

"The Tallest tell me you've been bothering them."

"I only want what's best for them."

"I believe you, but no means no. Whatever they say, goes. I promised them I would order you to stop annoying them."

He let the words hang in the air. The tips of his fingers touched each other lightly, resting under his chin. He closed his eyes.

"_So technically,"_ I thought, _"he hasn't ordered me. Not directly." _It was comforting to know.

Mr. Nork went on with his eyes still shut. "If you continue to pester them… I can't be responsible for what happens to you."

It was a warning. If I piss them off one more time, something horrible will happen to me. Only two punishments truly frightened me: thrown into space or be officially declared defective.

"Do you understand?" He was staring at me grimly now.

I nodded. "Yes. I understand, Sir. Perfectly clear."

-xoxo-

This was it. Today would either mark my success or my demise. By the end of the day, my life could be ruined.

Today might be the last day I live.

Thoughts raced through my mind as I carefully prepared the onion rings, quite possibly the last snacks I'd ever deliver. Maybe I should give up. Was it really worth risking my life? How was it any of my business, anyway? What people eat is up to them. Maybe what I should do instead is sneak vitamins into their food whenever I can.

The bags were ready. I let them cool off and realized it was now or never. I looked around the kitchen. Everyone bustled about, as always. I might never see them again.

I searched for Ki. She stood at her station, chopping lettuce. My feet carried me to her.

"Hey, what's up?" she bubbled.

Should I do something? I couldn't think of what to say. I hugged her. She put her knife down and hugged me back automatically.

"What's wrong?"

We let go. She looked at me, her face full of concern. My expression was blank. I tried to smile. The corner of my mouth pulled upward, but quickly fell. Ki tilted her head curiously to one side.

For some reason I couldn't explain, I felt so calm and peaceful. I closed my eyes and lowered my head serenely.

I remembered many things. How I first met Ki. How I relaxed alone in the kitchen during the Great Assigning. When I saw the Tallest up close for the first time. When Mr. Nork showed us around the Massive. How my friends back at Reezle's gave me a present and a group hug. Mr. Reezle telling me I had potential. The time I had fun dancing.

I opened my eyes slowly. Ki's antennae twitched. I hugged her again. I pulled away before she could hug back.

I hurried to scoop up the bags of onion rings and all but sprinted out the doors.

I moved briskly to my destination. I swallowed the lump in my throat before entering.

"Mm, that smells good!" Tallest Purple salivated.

They turned around and watched me approach. I bowed and served them their fried calories. They swiped the bags and stuffed a handful into their mouths. Every bite resulted in a crunch that, to me, sounded magnified.

I held my ground.

"My Tallest, I must insist—"

They groaned.

Tallest Red tried to keep his voice even. "I thought we told Nork to command you to shut up."

"He did!" I quickly replied.

Tallest Purple's face brightened. "He did? Well then, in that case…"

Both grinned at each other devilishly. Then they directed their twisted smiles at me. They jammed their eyes shut, raised a free arm up at full vertical length, lifted one finger toward the ceiling, opened their mouths wide to yell out my punish—

But I was ready.

Time to play the trump card.

This time, it was _I_ who interrupted _them_.

"If you aren't careful," I warned calmly, confidently, clearly, "you will get fat."

Scarlet and violet eyes shot open. Silence. For half a second they were frozen in midair. Their free arms dropped to their side. Their faces transformed into looks of sheer terror. They turned around and glided a few feet away from me.

They spoke to each other in low voices.

I wobbled slightly, too dazed to hear what they were saying. That was close, but I wasn't in the clear yet.

I righted myself. I waited for them to finish their discussion, which was becoming increasingly frantic. Then they grew quiet.

Throughout the whole conversation, I was only able to distinguish one word from it: "Skoodge."

They turned around and hovered back to me. A tense silence passed between us. Tallest Red glared at me with half-lidded eyes. Tallest Purple stared cautiously at his onion rings, as if they would suddenly jump up and eat him.

Tallest Red sighed and asked, "What do you propose?"

I smiled warmly. The idea was for me to cook a special dinner for them—an actual meal. One with food that resided in the basic food groups. One that would provide them with the essential nutrients they needed.

They reluctantly agreed to my plan, but also threw in a few conditions of their own. First, I would be the only one to prepare the meal. No outside help of any kind whatsoever. Second, Mr. Nork would eat with them. They didn't want to be "the only ones to suffer" and wanted to ask him a few questions regarding myself and what running the kitchen was like on a daily basis. Third, I was not to include sauerkraut under any circumstance. They claimed it was because of allergies. Right.

I was more than happy to accept these terms. Cooking for three people on my own didn't seem too bad. Only minutes beforehand, I was quaking with uncertainty. Now I shivered with excitement.

I bowed so low my head almost touched the floor. "Thank you, my Tallest!" I stood up to my full height and clasped my hands together up to my chin. Relief and joy swelled within me so much, I wanted to sing. "You won't regret this, I promise!"

"You better hope we don't," Tallest Red stated. "Because if we do…"

"…We're throwing you out the airlock."

The balloon in my chest popped.

-xoxo-

Eight days. The event would take place in eight days. I had eight days to figure out what I wanted to make.

My spirits were significantly dampened by the time I returned from my onion ring delivery. Ki spotted me and demanded an explanation. I whispered everything to her.

The next day Mr. Nork was informed of what was coming. He congratulated me on somehow persuading the Tallest to change their mind. He knew whatever I made would be delicious. I shakily informed him of what they'd do to me if they weren't satisfied.

"I think they were serious, Sir."

His eyes grew wide in alarm. He blinked and held his chin thoughtfully. Finally he said, "Don't you worry. I'm not going to let that happen."

"Sir?"

"Just focus on your cooking. Make use of your best skills. With your talent, it won't matter what kind of food you serve, healthy or not."

I hoped he was right. When I showed up for work the next day, about half of the team was already there. They were huddled together, talking animatedly until they noticed me. As one, they walked right up to me and asked if it was true. Apparently Ki had told someone about my situation. I should've asked her to keep it a secret. I confirmed their surmises but didn't request them to keep it quiet. If they knew, then the whole work-family should know.

Unfortunately, after a few more days passed, the whole _ship_ seemed to know. Unsurprisingly, rumors got mixed in as the truth spread around. One rumor suggested the Tallest were going to fully devote themselves to a healthier diet if they liked my food. Another said they were having an eating contest and the loser would be tossed out the airlock. The rumor that stuck out to me the most declared that both leaders had a crush on me and were going to make me dinner, and the one who made the best meal would win my affection.

Every time I left the kitchen, I'd be bombarded with questions and accusations. It bothered me so much that Mr. Nork showed mercy on me and had me cook and clean inside for as long as I liked. Thankfully, my work-siblings knew the truth and set anyone who questioned them straight.

Before I knew it, the day had come. I was careful to plan out a dish that would help their diet and yet not induce them to vomit on sight.

It was to take place in the Dining Room, a small space that reminded me of Reezle's. It hadn't been used much because it was only for very special, important occasions. I had been sent a half-hour before my guests so I could get started. The kitchen was practically a mini-sized version of the one I normally worked in. Soon enough, I heard voices approaching.

"It's a good thing we haven't eaten all day," Tallest Purple was saying. "I'm so hungry, I don't think I'll mind whatever she's serving!"

I cleared my throat, making him and his partner jump. I bowed and said, "Welcome. Please have a seat." I led them to the table in the center of the room and held their chairs out. Once seated, Mr. Nork gave me an encouraging smile. I hadn't noticed my hands shaking until now. I relaxed.

"I'll be right back with the appetizer and your drinks."

My violet-eyed guest complained, "We can't even pick out what we wanna drink?"

"No," I said. Before he could ask why not, I went on, "No slushies. No smoothies. No shakes. No root beer. No soda."

"Then what—?"

"You'll see." I turned around and left.

I caught Tallest Red's playful comment just before the kitchen doors closed behind me: "So, Nork. Do you teach _all_ your chefs to be as sassy as you?"

I returned moments later with three bowls of tomato soup and three glasses of iced tea. I included crackers for the soup and a lemon and tiny umbrella in each of the drinks, which seemed to please them.

Instead of immediately returning to the kitchen, I stayed behind just for a minute. I wanted to witness the first taste.

My leaders looked at the soup, then at each other. They had a stubborn blaze in their eyes, as though challenging the other to go first.

Mr. Nork noticed this exchange, picked up his spoon, and sampled my soup. He smirked and said, "It's not poisoned, y'know."

They blinked at him, then nodded at each other once. They raised their spoons and tried the appetizer simultaneously.

Pause…

"Hey…" said Tallest Purple, "We're not throwing up!"

"Looks like this won't be as hard as we thought," said Tallest Red. "Good work, chef."

"Zemori," Mr. Nork corrected.

I let out the breath I'd been holding. "Thank you, my Tallest." I did a quick curtsy and retreated.

I gave them time to finish before serving the main course. My leaders frowned worriedly.

"It's called chow mein," I answered the unasked question. "You like noodles, don't you?" I also passed out three bowls of steamed rice.

Tallest Purple poked at his food a little before whining, "I don't like it!"

I sighed. "My Tallest, you haven't even tried it yet."

"I don't like the way it looks! So I know I won't like the way it tastes!" He crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip, glaring at his chow mein.

"_JUST EAT IT!_"

All three guests jumped at my outburst. Instead of gasping and apologizing, I put my hands on my hips and tapped my foot. I narrowed my eyes at the picky Irken until he finally came to his senses and sampled his dinner.

Mr. Nork, during the silence, had laughed but covered it up as a cough. Then he smiled at me and said, "That's my girl."

I calmed down and smiled back. I refilled their glasses of iced tea.

As I left, I said, "If you eat it all, you can have dessert."

"Dessert? !" two voices exclaimed. Tallest Purple began to eat faster while Tallest Red's face went from excited to suspicious.

"What _kind_ of dessert?" he asked.

"Peach cobbler."

Tallest Purple swallowed and looked at me hopefully. "Will it have whipped cream?"

"Vanilla ice cream."

That did the trick. I knew that with the right motivation, I just might be able to save them (and myself) after all. By the time I came back to check, not a single grain of rice was left. I handed them their reward. There was plenty to go around, so I ate some of my dessert with them.

Soon enough, my guests stood up and thanked me for the meal. My Tallest joked about how the ice cream was by far the best part, thereby sparing my life. At least, I think they were joking.

"We should do this again sometimes, right? If we wanna keep our height from shrinking and…"

"How often should we do this, Zanoli?"

"_Zemori_," Mr. Nork corrected.

"How about once every ten years?" suggested Tallest Purple.

"I think it should be a bit more than that," I laughed. "How about once a year?"

"Five years," he insisted.

"Two."

"Deal," Tallest Red cut in.

"And I'll assign a different chef each time to do the job," Mr. Nork said as he led the Tallest out. "If you thought Zemori's cooking was acceptable, the others should do fine."

I sat at the table alone, waiting for a little while before cleaning up. The warmth of the Dining Room and my insides encouraged me to not be so hasty to wash dishes. I immediately thought of Ki at Mr. Nork's statement. She should be the next one to cook for the Tallest. Maybe I'd ask Mr. Nork later. I couldn't wait to tell her. I knew she'd be overjoyed.

-xoxo-

-xoxo-

-xoxo-

I put the blueberry muffins in the oven.

I feel someone tapping my shoulder.

It's Ki.

I look toward where she's pointing.

Mr. Nork has his head sticking out of his office, looking around.

He sees me.

He waves me over.

"Zemori," he says as I approach. "You have a call."

I have a what?

"I have a what?"

He steps out of his office and gently pushes me in it.

He closes the door.

I look around.

There's a transmission screen on his desk. Not too big, not too small. It's standing upright. I can only see the back because it's facing the chair.

I wonder how it's able to stand on its own, but as I walk closer, I see that it's built into the desk itself. I can only guess that it slides up when in use, then sinks back down and stays hidden when not.

I sit down.

Mr. Reezle is on the screen.

My mouth opens a little.

"Ah, there you are!"

My eyes are starting to get hot and moist.

"How've you been, Zemori? You look so… different. Have you gotten taller?"

I didn't think we'd meet again until after the war. If at all.

"What's wrong?"

I wipe my eyes.

I want to slap my cheeks to make sure I'm not dreaming, but instead, I just hold them.

I haven't seen him in so long.

"I haven't seen you in so long."

He lights up when he sees I'm all right.

"I know," he says. He leans back in his own office chair. "We have a lot to catch up on. But let's start with you. Anything of interest happen since you joined the Massive?"

I lean back in Mr. Nork's chair.

I give a tiny smile.

"Yes," I say. "I have so much to tell you."


End file.
